goings on...

       i've remembered how to listen to music. i haven't for a long time since i've been listening to audiobooks on my commutes, otherwise the only time i really get to 'rock out'. but i've got some mumford and sons going on iTunes as i type, and it's acting as a sort of salve, drawing out some of the poison.

       i've been stutter blogging a lot over the last couple weeks, but everything ends up deleted. still feeling pretty lost, but holding on, i suppose. still here.

       received a package in the mail yesterday from new york, which rocketed my spirits. christmas presents from my friend dan, here sometimes commenting as "mr. mysterious" or some similar monicker, which included a collection of short stories by amy hempel, some great little orange flavored shortbreads from harlem, and a rainbow-colored feather boa (my personal favorite). all more appreciated than i've been able to express.

       remember that match.com subscription i mentioned? still haven't done anything with it. ha. there's one that i keep wanting to message, but i don't. it's kind of a weird situation. i want to send him a message, but i also know i'm not in the right place. so i do nothing.

       saw tron: legacy last night. it's been getting mixed reviews, but i really enjoyed it. the score was inspired -- i always like twists of old and new like that. made me want to dabble in such things again. the story was somewhat similar to the first, so it had a tinge of remake, but i didn't mind that, and the deeper levels of meaning were underdeveloped but present and appreciated. kind of had a questioning of hope and dreams thing going on. it's probably a question being asked a lot right now, as the "american dream" has deflated somewhat.

       christmas in three days. kinda crazy how 2010 flew. two years from yesterday is the end of the world. haha. k, time for work. laters.

monday morning ramblings...

       i've been trying to write a post for the last couple weeks, but it seems like it just doesn't want to be written. kinda frustrated about that, but whatever. superbowl was yesterday and, as usual, i watched it for the commercials. i actually had a team to cheer for, though—usually it's just an arbitrary choice or i cheer for whomever everyone else is cheering for, but my choice this time came from my dad. when i was little he used to take business trips all over the world to visit their various customers and aid them in installations of his company's software (he's a programmer, or was—he's with the same company and he doesn't take trips anymore, but i'm not sure what he does now). but everywhere he went he would bring back some souvenirs for my little brother and me. he went to pittsburgh a couple times, though, and he's a football nutter, so invariably he'd bring home steeler's memorabilia. no, i didn't have any of it here to wear, but i was wearing it in spirit—a throwback to when times were simpler and when my dad would bring me things because he was thinking of me. so i was happy they won. and the commercials were funny.

       my parents were here for the weekend, actually. well, saturday night/sunday morning. just to visit. it was nice. they took me shopping (yay groceries!) and i got to explain why i'm cutting out red meats (and they actually took me seriously). they took me to church sunday morning, though, which was interesting. i haven't been since the beginning of december, so of course everyone there jumped on me, which was nice in a way. i always feel bad, though. i really do love those people. one guy who's only a few years older than me and used to be the pastor was particularly emotional. we're pretty good friends, but not really outside of church. he's been trying to get hold of me over the last couple weeks and i've been shamefully but purposefully avoiding him. i can't really do that anymore, though. i think i might have to be honest with him, which i'm scared as hell about. i want to run it past brandon first, since he also knows the guy, but he's in thailand and of no use for the next week and a half. he's promised to bring me back recipes, though! anyway. church is a very, very difficult topic for me to discuss. i hate thinking about it and the choices i'm going to have to make in the near future. well, i know what choice i'm going to make, but it's going to suck (and in a bad way). oknewtopic.

       hmm... i can't remember what else i was going to talk about now. my computer's back up and running. had to reformat, so it's been fun trying to get everything back together again. and it actually has been fun. i had some backup discs that i'd forgotten about and i'm finding things from several years ago that i'd forgotten i had. some pictures, some old (and terrible) stories, other random things. i didn't lose as much as i thought, so i'm happy about that. still lost a lot of music, though. i've been borrowing everyone's cds and copying them over, and my bittorrents have been going non-stop. give me suggestions, though... what's your favorite music? favorite bands? i need ideas, people... i need … lists! especially obscure things that i might not think of right away. the gems, you know? the only things i don't like are rap, death metal (i have a rule that i have to be able to understand most of the words the first time through), and i'm none too keen on country (because i still can't understand half of what they're singing, lol). my favorite bands are lifehouse, coldplay, snow patrol, and muse, so that kinda gives you an idea, but i like just about everything, and especially love to try new things. so yeah... proceed. thanks!

       ok, i need to start getting ready for work now. happy monday to all, and if you've already had your monday i hope it went well and have a splendid tuesday. later taters.

do you play any musical instruments? what do you play?

       many of you who have read this blog in the past know that i play a few instruments. the whole "mercurialmusic" screen name thing might also be a clue, but you never know. anyway, i'll admit that in a way i'm whoring myself out with this post because i'm trying to increase my post count for the reason that that tiny little "true" badge would look damn good next to my name. anyway, on with the answer: yes, i play musical instruments. i've had formal training with the piano on and off since i was around five years old, with teachers ranging from my grandmother to a semiprofessional teacher during high school to performance courses during my freshman year in college for work toward my music minor. whilst i was still in high school, my little brother was coerced by my parents to learn an instrument; he chose the guitar. when he began to give up after a handful of lessons i happily relieved him of his musical burden and proceeded (extremely slowly) to learn on my own. being busy and having sensitive fingertips i also postponed my guitar study until a year ago when my parents purchased a beautiful new fender acoustic/electric for my christmas present. progress has remained slow, but the fingertips are no longer a problem because i have wicked callouses from picking up the violin during my freshman year in college (and let me tell you, violin strings are much worse). i'd always wanted to learn violin and a girl in my dorm (who played violin) had always wanted to learn piano, so we exchanged lessons. that didn't go very far (i've since taught others with varying success), but during my sophomore year (now at a different college) i purchased a violin (the loan on which was greater than the loan on my car ) and completed two semesters of study at the music/arts institute of independence under marc abelson, a violinist for both the trans-siberian orchestra and (def leppard? i'll have to check this, but i'm too tired now to remember which band it was -- for some reason pink floyd also comes to mind). during my junior year in college i received some lessons on the drums (didn't take too well to the set but i was killer on the practice pad ) from a former university of missouri drum major. less traditionally considered an instrument, but my most favorite of all of them, is voice. i'd always been in choirs throughout school and even sang in the church choir (with a few solos, i might add), but i finally worked up the nerve to ask for formal training during high school. i began under a qualified teacher at the school, but he didn't quite understand my voice (once upon a time i had a three octave range -- my keyboard has five) so i was referred to dr. ican'trememberhisname at william jewell college (fine arts college in the kansas city area), and at $60 a pop his lessons were well worth it. i've sung in six different languages (that i can think of), but my favorite song that i did for him (and the best, in my opinion) was "music of the night." no, tasty, i won't sing it for you. from there i received a full-ride scholarship for voice and academics to columbia college (you're thinking of columbia university), a private school about 4 blocks away from where i'm sitting now. and in my rambling and much-too-long way, i believe i've just answered that question.   

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

a thrill of hope...

       i think my emotions are broken. they keep doing their own thing without consulting me first. the good news is that i officially have health insurance through work, so i wonder if a trip to the corner head shrinker would be covered. that'd be nice. i should check that out.

       i love josh groban's christmas cd. it's awesome. except it doesn't have "oh holy night" on it, which is my favorite christmas song, so i had to burn a copy with it on there. all's well now.

       i made an incredible chicken and potato soup tonight. it would have been perfect if there hadn't been a freak heat wave that took us into the 70s today. but we're supposed to have snow on thanksgiving day, so it's all good. yeah, the high tomorrow is 43. that's missouri for you. and in case you were wondering, yes, the weather does directly affect the taste of soup. i made bananas foster last night because i'd never made them before and i wanted to try it. it was insanely fun. and i definitely singed off half the hair on my right hand and set off the fire alarms in the first floor of the house. but it tasted pretty good (the dessert, not the singed hair--definitely didn't taste that, but it smelled funny). i don't really like bananas, though. i should have thought of that first.

       i want to write again.

       i want one of these. anyone want to get me a christmas present? it looks awesome. unfortunately it will have to come down in price by about $349.99 for me to be able to think about splurging on it. but it's still cool.

       i love the title of this post. it has nothing to do with the post itself except i was listening to the aforementioned favorite christmas song when i began typing and those words jumped out at me. they're so perfect. especially for me, right now. i really am crazy. but i get to drive home on wednesday night and i'm really looking forward to having a couple days off. i'm really hoping that it will be nice. anyway, i need sleep. take care all.

i am willy wonka...

       well, it's official. i received the call this morning from the candy factory and they offered me the job. i start on tuesday, shadowing and training with the current confectioner, also named chris, whom i met yesterday and she seems awesome. there's a satellite radio in the confection room and we discussed our musical preferences. she loves country and classical, so i'm sure we will get along very well. i'm so excited. my hours are 9:30am to 5:00pm (or 6?) tuesday through friday and 10am to 5pm on saturday. the dress code is a t-shirt and shorts. haha. forgive my enthusiasm. i'm kinda giddy.

       so tuesday night i went to the midnight premier of order of the phoenix with keira and several others. then i went again last night with my mom. she came down to visit and took me out to eat, grocery shopping, and to a movie (she wanted to see it and i didn't complain). it's probably my favorite of the movies so far. they definitely cut a lot out (expected, since the book was almost 900 pages), but they also changed a few things. that was annoying. but i still liked it. even non-harry potter enthusiasts will enjoy it, i think. but yes. very good. and highly recommended.

       i'll keep this one short. i'm excited. lots to do still, though. take care all. later.

five days, eighteen hours, thirty-eight minutes, and twenty-three seconds...

       that's how long my mp3s would play. and yet i know that doesn't even come close to some of yours out there. how long will your music play? i'm curious. a buddy of mine just sent me a bunch of gordon lightfoot songs in preparation for the concert in a few weeks. looking forward to it--he's an awesome songwriter.

       told you the posting influx wouldn't last long. haha. i'm back in como as of tonight. took a load over to the new apartment earlier, but i'm back at the duplex trying to pack as much as i can before my mom and dad get here tomorrow with the truck, expecting to move everything over. i think i've figured out where everything's going to go, but i'll probably switch it around a few times before i'm satisfied. i have so much junk. it's not funny.

       went to an awesome bbq last night. it was nice to remember that i have friends other than the ones i've spent the last three years with. i mean friends from a previous lifetime that are still my friends. those are always nice to have. had a really good time. except an hour before i was supposed to be there i decided to check my invitation to see if i was supposed to bring anything. i was. the host is a really good friend of mine that had told me about it all already, so when i got the invite i kinda glanced at it and put it aside. his wife used to live with my family, so she knows all about my love of making desserts and requested i make one. haha. so in one hour i made a chocolate cake with a raspberry filling and chocolate icing. i was rather proud of it. made a mess of the kitchen, though.

       so, anyway, i'm happy to be back. once i get somewhat settled i'll tell you all about the new place and my high hopes for it. right now, though, i should pack. i rather liked this movie, but read many negative reviews and heard from a few friends that they didn't. what'd you all think? later.