happy new year!

       i think i'm giving up on the other blog. i'm so over it i'm not even going to bother turning that into a link. currently working on my tenth year on xanga and no matter how many other blogs i start (so many) i keep coming back here, even if infrequently. capital letters are overrated. and writing is so much work. here it's all natural, effortless, stream of consciousness. i barely edit. and i can ramble. it doesn't even matter if anyone reads it. it's not really for anyone else anyway, and that, i think, has been the key to my longevity here.

       so the holidays. those were fun. happy days. speaking of which, i saw "mrs. c" in some terrible play that my parents took me to at a place that attracts old has been actors to perform in a dinner-theater environment (buffet, of course) for people who think such things make them cultured. i may have had a better opinion of it had the writing not been as bland as the steamed broccoli. i think i saw another gay person there, though. i couldn't be sure. but yes, i went home, which was immediately a marked improvement over last year's christmas spent alone. i was glad to be there (home, i mean). i didn't get to see nearly as many people as i'd hoped, but the family time was nice. it felt short, but it was designed to be, and i was feeling slightly homesick for my couch and kitten. speaking of couch... well, i'll get to that in a bit.

       new year's was kind of awesome. it had been a while since i'd attended a proper new year's party, but fortunately my kinda boyfriend is good at throwing such things. it was also the first time i ever had a real kiss on nye, which is a little sad, but i suppose it was also nice to have one of those too-rare "first time experiences". anyway, i got properly sloshed and went to bed somewhere around 6am. and i'm really hoping those videos don't turn up on facebook or youtube.

       i still haven't decided whether i'll do any resolutions this year. i only vaguely outlined some in 2012 (in mid-february, too) but i guess now i only have to feel vaguely guilty about not keeping any of them. except in 2011 i had a proper list and kinda nailed it. perhaps that was me making a decision just then. dammit. now i have to write resolutions. i'll do them later. right now it's bed time.

monday morning ramblings...

       i've been trying to write a post for the last couple weeks, but it seems like it just doesn't want to be written. kinda frustrated about that, but whatever. superbowl was yesterday and, as usual, i watched it for the commercials. i actually had a team to cheer for, though—usually it's just an arbitrary choice or i cheer for whomever everyone else is cheering for, but my choice this time came from my dad. when i was little he used to take business trips all over the world to visit their various customers and aid them in installations of his company's software (he's a programmer, or was—he's with the same company and he doesn't take trips anymore, but i'm not sure what he does now). but everywhere he went he would bring back some souvenirs for my little brother and me. he went to pittsburgh a couple times, though, and he's a football nutter, so invariably he'd bring home steeler's memorabilia. no, i didn't have any of it here to wear, but i was wearing it in spirit—a throwback to when times were simpler and when my dad would bring me things because he was thinking of me. so i was happy they won. and the commercials were funny.

       my parents were here for the weekend, actually. well, saturday night/sunday morning. just to visit. it was nice. they took me shopping (yay groceries!) and i got to explain why i'm cutting out red meats (and they actually took me seriously). they took me to church sunday morning, though, which was interesting. i haven't been since the beginning of december, so of course everyone there jumped on me, which was nice in a way. i always feel bad, though. i really do love those people. one guy who's only a few years older than me and used to be the pastor was particularly emotional. we're pretty good friends, but not really outside of church. he's been trying to get hold of me over the last couple weeks and i've been shamefully but purposefully avoiding him. i can't really do that anymore, though. i think i might have to be honest with him, which i'm scared as hell about. i want to run it past brandon first, since he also knows the guy, but he's in thailand and of no use for the next week and a half. he's promised to bring me back recipes, though! anyway. church is a very, very difficult topic for me to discuss. i hate thinking about it and the choices i'm going to have to make in the near future. well, i know what choice i'm going to make, but it's going to suck (and in a bad way). oknewtopic.

       hmm... i can't remember what else i was going to talk about now. my computer's back up and running. had to reformat, so it's been fun trying to get everything back together again. and it actually has been fun. i had some backup discs that i'd forgotten about and i'm finding things from several years ago that i'd forgotten i had. some pictures, some old (and terrible) stories, other random things. i didn't lose as much as i thought, so i'm happy about that. still lost a lot of music, though. i've been borrowing everyone's cds and copying them over, and my bittorrents have been going non-stop. give me suggestions, though... what's your favorite music? favorite bands? i need ideas, people... i need … lists! especially obscure things that i might not think of right away. the gems, you know? the only things i don't like are rap, death metal (i have a rule that i have to be able to understand most of the words the first time through), and i'm none too keen on country (because i still can't understand half of what they're singing, lol). my favorite bands are lifehouse, coldplay, snow patrol, and muse, so that kinda gives you an idea, but i like just about everything, and especially love to try new things. so yeah... proceed. thanks!

       ok, i need to start getting ready for work now. happy monday to all, and if you've already had your monday i hope it went well and have a splendid tuesday. later taters.