taking shape...
apparently my work crush is now in a relationship with one of the bakery girls. or so sayeth the great facebook. i happen to be of the opinion that he was so surprised and scared by his supposedly unnatural feelings for me that he ran in a drunken stupor to the arms of the first girl that would be delusional enough to date a 'mo. which is kind of what happened, minus my little flourishes. but i'm not upset by it or anything. funny thing, though, it does kinda further the north carolina cause. i notice that i keep looking for things that would keep me here, but they all slowly disappear and i end up grasping at straws. i don't know why. the comfort of home and family, perhaps, or at least of familiar things. when you're a crazy person like me, the familiar things keep you grounded. routine, etc. and i've certainly been crazy lately. but new places can become familiar, too, i guess. i think i'm just getting impatient. i want to be on the other side of the river and not have to worry about jumping to the next stepping stone. except there's a million of them and i don't know whether i'm going backwards or forwards or sideways. but with the exception of the people here in kc, most have been encouraging. actually, while i was in columbia i mentioned the possibility to my former co-worker, chris, who said that she had lived in the area and loved it. she said it was a lot like columbia except bigger, which made me groan at first, but when i think of it, i really liked columbia except that it was so stinking small. raleigh itself is closer to the size of kc minus the metro, so...
i'm starting to think i might do it.
not long term, probably. take it a little at a time. and the idea of paring down my belongings to what i can fit in my little escort is kind of attractive. in a scary way. or maybe my parents will help me move with their truck. but that's a long drive and i don't know if i want to ask them to do that. i could get one of those little mini-uhauls. i don't know if my car could pull that, though. haha. but this is all hypothetical, of course. nothing solid. yet.
sometimes i'm excited by the idea and sometimes i really don't want to do it. but i think i'm slowly getting used to it. the adventure and newness of it is winning me over.
i'm still tired from doing the chocolate covered strawberries. roughly two tons in four days. but it was good. listened to "jonathan strange and mr. norrell" by susanna clarke, which i very much enjoyed. and i enjoyed spending time with old friends and making a couple new ones. and i'm sure i'll appreciate the check, when it comes. the loss of gym time was apparent when i went back on monday, but it wasn't that terrible. in fact i think it may have helped to have a short break to shock my body out of forming a routine. i noticed today that i'm getting my abs back. i was excited.
k, that's all for today. things to do. hope you're all well.
<edit> 2.17.11 -- raleigh is officially a probability and quite a big one, it seems. talked to trevor (new future roomie) last night and worked some more things out, and i talked to my parents tonight about moving either in june or august, depending on whether i can get a certain job (june if i get it, august if i don't). more details to come. so far my ex future roomie is not taking it well. :( </edit>