long time no update...
it's been kind of a roller coaster. came a bit unglued for a while in there. might still be, a little. crazy as it is, i highly recommend it on occasion. makes you appreciate sanity a little more. the double dose of glee this week helped a lot, especially since they geared tonight's a little more to the hopeful yet still lonely hearts. i like my feel-good show. definitely a contrast to what i saw immediately previous, though. after work i went out and saw black swan. going to a movie by myself is kind of a ritual when in the aforementioned state of falling apart. and natalie portman greatly appeals to that ~5% of me that isn't entirely gay. i didn't want to say straight just then because, when it comes down to it, ... ew. but it was kinda amazing. made me a little queasy in parts. i actually covered my mouth with my hands a few times. felt a bit girly, but fortunately i had the row to myself. i was completely drawn in -- took me a while to come back down. i don't like writing about such things, though -- i'm sure i'd make a terrible critic. i just like to get lost in it, which made this kinda perfect. thinking about seeing something else again tomorrow, if i have time. not sure yet. the king's speech or 127 hours. i need to let my mind mellow. the mixture of crazy and dread from the coming week has me on the edge of hyperventilation.
my mind is seriously kicking and screaming about the strawberries. it's like i can feel time dragging me inevitably closer and closer to the open gates of hell. once i get there i'm sure i'll be fine. might even have fun as long as i get plenty of sleep, but i've been bad about that lately and i'm sure being around old friends won't help. everyone's wanting to do something and i'm torn between wanting to see people and being able to get through the week. it's such a slog. but i have "jonathan strange and mr. norrell" by susanna clark and "the thirteenth tale" by diane setterfield ready to go on my ipod, and my starbucks card is freshly reloaded. so i should be ok.
i just realized that was the first movie i saw this year (in a theater, i mean). that's kinda sad. i love movies.
let's see... what else... the gym thing has faltered briefly. only one trip last week because of snowpocalypse and the crazy, but i lifted some at home and shoveled snow for about 90 minutes. i'm planning to go tomorrow before leaving for columbia, but that will be my only visit for this week, too. better jump right back on next monday or i'm gonna slide like crazy. already feeling fat. oh, and the north carolina thing has moved past the "just a thought" stage into the "possibility" stage, even bordering on "probability." we still need to talk about that a little more. but other people i mention it to seem to be encouraging. and, i notice, raleigh is not currently buried in snow. definite bonus points there.
i could really go for a cuddle right now. the last several nights i've been dreaming about being held by someone, only to wake to find hermes cuddling up. which is really cute and all... i love my kitty. but it's so not the same.