every evening sky, an invitation...

       happy summer! today is the official first day of summer. i suddenly have the urge to lose 20 pounds and go for a swim. haha. like that will ever happen. yeah, i'm a guy and i worry about my weight. i've officially gained weight since i've been down here, too. six pounds. in one month. and i'm eating healthier than i have in a long time and lifting more, so i'm hoping it's muscle, but stepping on that scale (i have to for plasma otherwise i'd avoid it) still makes me catch my breath.

       last night i drove with bj to kansas city for an older youth class he was teaching. the class went great. awesome, really. i never go away wanting when i hear him speak. and he's probably the nicest guy i've ever met. period. but for some reason i was a rambling crazy person last night. i'm blaming it on lack of contact with other people resulting in an extreme loss of interpersonal skills. seriously, i felt like such an idiot. we definitely talked about books for most of the drive home. yeah, i like books and all, and i do like to talk about them in certain situations, but i know other people don't. heck, even in those certain situations i feel like a nerd. i have a feeling he won't want to strike up a conversation with me for a while. he did talk about my book some, on the way up. i was happy because he seemed to be picking up on all the things i'd want people to pick up on, but then i got paranoid and wondered if there was too much of it in there and if it was blatant and overpowering. i usually go for the subtle hints, but i've been told often that they're usually too subtle. i need a happy medium. i haven't been in the mood to write lately. i need to be like a shoe and just do it.

       well, i'm going to read some before i hit the hay. it's not really hay, in case you were wondering. that would be really scratchy.