big softy...

       some of you may remember that i once tried to be a vegetarian. i think most gays go through the phase. it was short lived, but it led to a major cutback in how much meat i eat and an almost complete elimination of beef (living at home has made that more difficult and, let's face it, i like a steak or burger on occasion). i had many reasons for going veg -- the u.s. is the #1 consumer of meats and we cannot sustain our addiction with what we raise domestically so we've also become the #1 importer. because we can afford to pay more and because we create a smaller supply in the originating countries, the price of meat in those countries skyrockets until the farmers who raise the animals can't even afford to buy the stuff. much of our grain is also devoted to feeding the animals (it's all feed corn now, which is a cheaper and more fattening food) so neither do we produce enough grain for humans to eat and we get the same story again. so basically the u.s. is greatly exacerbating world hunger because of our addiction to meat. also, if you've ever seen the documentary "food, inc." you'd never want to eat a hamburger again. it's fucking disgusting.

       i'll also mention the movie "powder" with the uber-hot sean patrick flanery. nevermind the fact that he's gay, there's a scene in the movie when some guys are out hunting and one of them shoots a doe. powder proceeds to put one hand on the dying doe and one on the guy who shot her and is able to make the man feel the pain and terror of the animal, after which he never hunts again. it's an interesting scene that always stuck with me.

       the point of all this? last night my brother went deer hunting. on my way home from work i got a call from my father asking me to rush home and get some bullets to my brother who had run out after shooting a buck. the shot wasn't immediately fatal and my brother couldn't get close enough to finish it off with a knife but he wanted to stay and watch as it thrashed so that he wouldn't lose it if it managed to get up again. well, my grandmother was able to get the bullets to him first, fortunately, but as he was getting them from her he managed to lose it anyway. they tracked the poor thing for three hours trying to find it again, which they eventually did, but it left me thoroughly disgusted.

       all i want to know is why? i think it's a delusion saying that it's population control. god knows humans need population control, too, but we can't buy permits to shoot those. unfortunately. and it certainly isn't necessity, nor is it cheaper. after permit and processing costs you could probably get the same amount of meat from a grocery store for less. which leaves one thing: sport. killing for sport. it's barbaric and cruel. and i really, really want to punch my brother in the face right now, especially after being that irresponsible. he let the poor thing suffer for three hours and now it's hanging like a trophy from a tree in the back yard. it's small, too, barely a 4-point.

       i swear i was adopted.

       so what do you think? am i overreacting? is it just the natural order of things?

       speaking of big softy, i need to go work out. i really need to get into a routine again, and no better time than the present.

       laters.