crunch...
i'm kind of in a bitchy mood. i blame work, mostly, but i'm also tired and trying to fight off some bug and stressed/worried about all the impending changes and the uncertainty that still hovers around those changes. haven't heard anything yet about the job, but i didn't really expect to yet. it'd certainly be nice, though. my future roommate currently has a tenant that will require a 30-day notice, but 30 days from my move-in date (if i get the job) will be next tuesday. so hopefully i'll hear by then. if not -- well, i don't want to think about that yet. i don't know what i'd do, though. i'd have to get a hotel or some storage space, which means moving twice, which would require renting a truck.... no, i just don't want to think about that yet. i'm the sort that likes things to be settled. i like to plan in advance and know what i'm doing and have things lined up for an easy transition so i can go and unpack and start to settle immediately into my new life and avoid as much stress as possible. i don't like stress.
trevor gave me the key already, though. he put it on random spare ring that had an "I <3 NY" pendant attached. the little silver teddy bear charm that's on my current key chain used to have "I <3 Chicago" stamped across his chest. now all i need is something with "I <3 Boston" or "I <3 Edinburgh" to make the irony complete. but for the millionth time someone told me tonight, "raleigh!? i lived there once! i loved it! i'm sure you will, too."
it's not so much about loving the city, though. my nervousness is mostly about loving who i am when i'm there. and who i will love when i'm there. i almost feel like i'm giving up on some things. but some things probably need to be given up on. i'd rather not spend the rest of my life pining after things that will never be. damn hope. it's kind of annoying sometimes.
but the absolute biggest thing i'm worried about is moving in with an uber-religious republican. wasn't expecting that one.
currently trolling GWiP and wondering if this is as good as it gets.