the resolusionist...

      yup, i've become one of those. you know the sort -- the ones that clog up the gym for the first couple months of a new year, swearing confidently to get back into shape only to burn out and give up, squeezing their chubby asses out the gym door to return again next year. i used to hate those people, back when i was what you’d call a gym rat. i’d spend six days a week, two or three hours a day in that place, and i belonged there. those cookie-dough-assed wannabes had no right choking up my beloved treadmills, machines, and swimming pool. that was, what? four or five years ago? haha. now i’m that cookie-dough-assed wannabe. ok, no, i’m not that bad. while the gym visits didn’t stick much longer than a month last january, i did resume in march with my 30-50 miles a week on the trail, which lasted until my abrupt move to kansas city just over six months ago.. that’s when it got bad. i was determined to keep up with it. i went out on the trail here a few times, but i’d been spoiled by columbia’s excellent park system (water fountains and shade!). i swam several times in my parent’s pool, but i’d only go after dark and i’d often skip because i was tired or busy. and i lifted -- occasionally. very occasionally. i didn’t realize how occasionally it was until tonight.

      this afternoon, after six long months of self-pity and procrastination, i joined a gym. i even did it before the new year just to make myself feel a little better. but holy crap, i felt out of place. the only gym i’ve ever really known was the mizzou rec center. beautiful gym, full of lanky college kids, a few die-hards, and a few old creepy people. while i was a regular i felt completely at ease -- very little self-consciousness or insecurity, and pretty damn strong -- i could max out most of the machines with several reps and hold my own in the free-weight room. i’ve lost a lot of muscle since then, but i’m still not a small guy. short, yes, but not small. the guys in the gym this afternoon made me feel tiny. these were the guys that kept working out after college, and oh daddy... haha. wow. i felt like i had no excuse whatsoever only putting up 170lbs on the bench... on a machine. it was pathetic. but it’s a start. and i’m taking davey wavey’s advice about working up to it -- two or three times a week for the first few weeks to avoid burning out completely after two months. and i’m determined. and excited. and am now accepting bets on how long i’ll keep the membership.

      the only thing i didn’t like? no doors or curtains on the tiny shower stalls. maybe back in the day i’d have been up to the challenge. but after seeing so many guys with bodies that would make greek gods jealous, i decided to run out to my car in my nasty gym clothes. but i’ll get there. oh yes, i’ll get there. and yes, i took wet wipes to my car seats when i got home. =)