Cynicism?
Billy Bragg by Flickr user andresmusta. Used under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 2.0 License.
I’ve been accused lately of being quite cynical. Sure, it’s true to a point, and in my various occupations it’s probably more common to see those motivated by selfishness: On one hand a medical institution that relentlessly beats most of the humanity out of its physicians until they care about little more than the financial perks, and on the other an online community of semi-anonymous gamers who interact in a world of rather inconsequential pixels. In both worlds I see this competitive drive to accumulate the most resources and become the most respected. That drive has always been a bit odd to me. I think I understand it, sure, and even possess it myself on some primitive level, but I’ve always failed to see the point of it. I mean, an ambition to improve yourself and the world around you is one thing — but a drive to be the best just to be “better” than everyone else? That’s a whole other box to unpack.
But I don’t think most people are motivated purely by selfishness. It’s important not to sweep the narcissists under the rug, but I don’t think they are the majority. No, the reason for my frequent exasperation, my recent predilection for pessimism, is my burgeoning belief that the majority of humanity is comprised of incompetent morons. Pudding brains, the lot of ‘em! And I’m not exempting myself from the condition — I know jack shit and can be a downright dumbass at times. I’ve spent the last twenty-odd years wanting to write and have barely written a damned thing. I mean I can barely even call this a blog anymore.
I think it’s because we like to escape too much, at least in part. Or that’s what I blame for myself. I think it’s fair to say most of us hate our jobs. If you’re sitting at work and wouldn’t rather be somewhere else, then you are a very lucky and probably rare individual indeed. For some reason we would rather disappear into our games or sitcoms rather than confront the problems in our lives, on both micro and macro levels — we seem to like to pretend to be the hero better than actually being one.
But that’s not entirely true either, is it? We may not wield Mjolnir or possess the genius to build a mechanical iron suit capable of fighting crime and alien incursions, but we do, occasionally, have heroic moments on a much smaller but far more important scale. Like when we volunteer, when we help someone out, when we donate our time or resources, even when we recycle. There’s very much a beauty in these half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herders setting aside their need to dominate for a few moments to participate in something greater than themselves.
I do wish it would happen more often, though.
I’m not really saying anything here. This is mostly an argument with myself about why I’m not entirely a cynic while also trying to find some hope for humanity. Because there is still some hope, right? …Right?