i wanna be a housewife...

       melting into the plush leather seat at starbucks again. best seat in the house, with a view of the whole place. there's a really cute guy in here, but he's with a girl. i'm thinking fag hag. but even if he were of the persuasion i'm sure i wouldn't have a shot. just wishful thinking. oh, weird. this other girl at the next table spoke to her friend on the phone and i realized it wasn't a girl at all. startled me. the music is kinda hip-hop jazzy. not many people here, probably because of the cold. and now that i have a chance to sit and think a bit i'm realizing that i really don't want to sit and think at all. the escapist in me has been in full swing lately. lots of netflix. and i'm re-reading the count of monte cristo. well, not really. it's an audiobook. i mostly listen to it during the ~1.5 hour commute to work each day. i'm kind of in a slow part in the middle so my mind wanders sometimes. really looking forward to the next, "jonathan strange and mr. norrell." i need some hand lotion. super dry. ooh, bob dylan just came on. "blowin' in the wind." i like jay brannan's version better. is that sacrilegious? eh, i don't care, i love jay.

       i came in here to write, but once again i'm not really feeling it. it's the sitting and thinking that catches up with me. i don't really want to go home, though. but now the songs are trending towards the cozy cuddle in front of the fire christmas music. ugh. but i'm going out with toby on friday. that might help. no, i don't think there's anything there, and i don't know if i want there to be. but he cuddles with me. i'm going to make that a mandatory portion of our evening. almost had some juicy love triangle drama to share, but it didn't really turn into anything because i'm lame like that.

       i don't like this, the way things are. i don't like where i am. kinda getting to a point where i want to go to a doctor to get some happy pills. i wonder how much my insurance would cover. ooh, some u-haul therapy would be nice. i'd go to miami to be with david bromstad. i wonder if he likes short guys.

       yeah, i think i'm gonna give up for the day, go home and cuddle with hermes. later taters.